Shot Jokes

When your in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots

Yesterday during The storm there was a blackout, so I shot him

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Person: So you know that persons name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dea Friend: Yeah John Wilkes Booth Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln. Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot

A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy.

Teacher, there is 3 birds 1 gets shot how many are left.

Student, non they flew off because the shot scared them off.

Teacher, acautly 2 but i like the way you think.

5 minutes later

Student, there is 3 women eating ice cream 1 licking it 1 drinking it melted and 1 sucking it which one is married.

Teacher,the one sucking it?

Student, no the one with the ring but i like the way you think.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I've lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive!

This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

School is a lot like boot camp, the only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at

mother got shot, damn father got shot, damn sister got shot, damn brother got shot, damn auntie running away with a shot gun

Kobe Missed A lot of shots but he sure didn’t miss the mountain

How do you get a clown of your swing?

You shoot it.

Me and my friend were duck hunting. He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!". Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.

there was a animal on my porch then i shot in the head it was strange that it had coffee in its hand, i flipped it over and it was an animal but it looked a lot like my kid.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”