Nyc jokes

A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:

Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

Why did the Twin Towers get mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.

What’s New York’s favorite game?

2001 flight simulator.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

What is the New York fireman's favorite song?

It's raining men.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.