Firearm jokes

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?

Suicide squad. 😂😂😂

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.

I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”