Short jokes
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"
She: "How can I resolve this?"
He: "Get a Cancer!"
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀
Me, myself, and I.
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Everything.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.