Short jokes

I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.

Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

I love gay people. UwU

How do you blindfold an Asian?

You use dental floss.

My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!

You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

What did the orphan say to his parents?

I'm tripping balls right now!

Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.

What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.

What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!

What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?

Hot Wheels.