Short jokes

Short jokes

Tree

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

God

I think God is cool with abortion.

After all, he did kill his only son.

Sex

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.

Pervert

Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?

Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.

Hitler

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

Helicopter

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

Orphan

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

Divorce

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

Twin Towers

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Arrest

Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.

Kid

What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?

Hanging out.

Apple

What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

An apple chooses to hang.

Bar

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.

Apple

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.