Short jokes

What kind of dog can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?

He was stealing all the samples.

Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.

The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.

Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.

I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

How do you get a baby into a small bowl?

A blender.

How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?

They both make vegetables.

Ching chong China.

Jing jong Japan.

Ting tong Taiwan.

Hing hong Hong Kong.

King kong Korea.

What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.

Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?

A seizure salad.

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.