Short jokes
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Oofer.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!