Short jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
Uranus is huge.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Retards.
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".