Short jokes
Today I heard someone playing "Dancing Queen" on the didgeridoo.
It was very Abba-riginal.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!