Short jokes

I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.

Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.

Real emo: same.

Fake emo: another piece of cake.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."

What do you call a white kid who kills another?

Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

[Parent’s signature: __________]

Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?

Me: I'm just BONELY.

Sans: Good one kiddo.

Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.

Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.

Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?

The lobsters in the kitchen.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.

Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!