Short jokes
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.