Short jokes
Your hairline is an artificial fact.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"
Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.