Short jokes
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.