Short jokes
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.