Short jokes
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.