Short jokes
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.