Short jokes
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.
What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.