Short jokes
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
What do you call a black coconut?
A CoonConut.
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!