Short jokes

I think God is cool with abortion.

After all, he did kill his only son.

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.

Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?

A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).

I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

You are all going to be pun-ished!

Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?

Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.

What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-

Grand Theft Otter!

I've been told I've got a perfect cock.

She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.

Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

It gets toad.

Do you need an ark?

Because I Noah guy!

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.

Where do cows stop to drink?

The Milky Way!

The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?

He had nobody to go with.

What is the strongest creature in the sea?

A mussel!

What do we want? Plane noises!

When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!