Short jokes
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Q. What do you call a baby born six months early?
A. A miscarriage.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
Are you Roblox? 'Cuz I wanna play ya all day.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.