Short jokes
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
🤔 What does BLM stand for? Blacks Love Masturbation 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ 😀 👍 👍
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.