Short jokes
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Why are there gates on a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get inside. Lol
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
Yo mama is so ugly that Bumble accused her of catfishing.
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?
So they can climb a fence easier.
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.