Short jokes
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
Uranus is huge.