Short jokes
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)