Short jokes
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.