Short jokes
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Question: How bad is German WiFi?
Answer: It's the wurst.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
Hitler.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.