Short jokes
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver đ
Why canât orphans go on school field trips?
[Parentâs signature: __________]
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Why donât Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
Whatâs the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!