Short jokes

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.

Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?

The lobsters in the kitchen.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.

Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

Where do you order nonbinary pizza?

Little xe/xyrs.

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!

I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!