Short jokes

Short jokes

Eagle

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

Halloween

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

Paedophile

What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?

They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.

Yo Momma

Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!

Space

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

School shooting

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

Height

"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"

Comedy

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

Gun

What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?

A water gun...