Short jokes
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
I hate wearing a mask in public.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.