Short jokes
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Why is the sun mad at the clouds?
The clouds keep throwing shade.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
The biggest legend is Technoblade.