Short jokes
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.