Short jokes
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"
What game do Emos play?
Fruit Ninja.
(Sorryyyyy Lmaoooo)
Smash or pass the Twin Towers?
Planes: Smash
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.
You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!