Short jokes
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
You calling me gay, but the pole is straighter than you.
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
Good morning? Goodbye!
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.