Short jokes
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
Shut the f*ck up.
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Why are emos like paper?
They cut easily.
Q: What happens when emos make out?
A: They don't; they just hang out.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.