Short jokes
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.