Short jokes
"Knife to meet you all!"
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
Hi, I am Bill.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.