Short jokes
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.