Short jokes
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!