Short jokes
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.