Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
Short Jokes
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
