Short jokes
"Knife to meet you all!"
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
Hi, I am Bill.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
l li
ll l_
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.