Short jokes
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
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Read the previous line.