Short jokes
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
Uranus is huge.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?