How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
Short Jokes
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
