Short jokes
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.