Short jokes

Short jokes

Ant

22 ants were playing football in a saucer.

One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”

Wreck

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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  • Panther

    What did the panther say at the poker party?

    I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.

    Girl

    What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?

    A blood bath.

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  • Gas

    What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.

    Cancer

    So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."

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  • Language

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    A murderer.

    A murderer who--

    Is cut off by being murdered.

    Rap

    Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?

    Wrapped around that tree.

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  • Knee

    What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

    Their knees.

    Feminist

    What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?

    A rock can break a glass ceiling.

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  • Eye

    Why did Sally get a black eye?

    Because she tried to play patty cake.

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  • Parody

    "Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.

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