Short jokes
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
I believe in a woman's right to choose...
...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
BLM.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."