Short jokes

Short jokes

Orphanage

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

Jedi

What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?

Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.

Skunk

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose.

Worst joke ever.

Calendar

I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!

Feminist

What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?

A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).

Grandmother

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.

My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

Orphan

Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.

Orphan

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

Mary Poppins

What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?

*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*

Orphan

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

Dog

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

Rule

Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

Shit

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

"Together we can stop this shit!"

Serial Killer

Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.