Short jokes
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.