Short jokes
I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"
Evans so gay I mouth kissed him.
Beau Ruse is Gay.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
My life.