Short jokes
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.