Short jokes
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.
TommyInnit is a joke.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What color is your Bugatti?
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."