Short jokes
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
Like if you meet someone emo.
Like if you wanna have sex.
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.