Short jokes
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
Do I sit broken-hearted?
I came to sh*t and only farted.
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
How do rappers keep their breath fresh?
With some FRESH BEATS.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
Hey Hunter, Thomas here.
Why did the plane cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!
Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.