Short jokes
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Earth is full. Go home!
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Damn Americans, they fucking suck at Clash Royale.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!