Short jokes
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.