Short jokes
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
A baby seal walked into a club.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...