Short jokes
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Damn Americans, they fucking suck at Clash Royale.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.
TommyInnit is a joke.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."