Short jokes

Short jokes

Vegetable

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Tax

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

Food

If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.

Sex

What is the worst part about siblings having sex?

Being left out.

Ass

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Slinky

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

People

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

Leaf

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

Lipstick

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

Orphan

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Phone

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.