Short jokes
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."