Short jokes

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Bomb.

Why are gay guys so rude?

Because they’re fucking assholes.

What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Why don't orphans have a site page?

Because there's no home page.

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

What if Flappy Bird was with the Twin Towers?

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat the cancer.