Short jokes
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Earth is full. Go home!
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.