Short jokes
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
What's black and never works?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard!
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.