Short jokes
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.