Short jokes
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Your nan's bald.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. π
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, βWe'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!β
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.