Short jokes
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Your nan's bald.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.