Short jokes
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Like if you meet someone emo.
Like if you wanna have sex.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.