Short jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Like if you wanna have sex.
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."