Short jokes
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
Blondies.
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"