Short jokes
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.