Short jokes
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.