Short jokes
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.