Short jokes
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
Did you?
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Xd.
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!