Short jokes

Short jokes

Brothel

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

Dog

You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.

Orphan

Why do orphans have gross cakes?

Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.

Date

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

Stick

What's brown and sticky?

A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!

Textbook

What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?

You've got a lot of problems!

Shooter

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Kidnapping

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

Orphanage

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

Orphan

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

Difference

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.

Orphan

Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?

A. He was trying to phone home.

Sadness

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

Cowboy

Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?

A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!