Short jokes
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
I have a little John.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?