Short jokes
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Did you?
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.