Short jokes
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
Alles tut weh.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
So Mungus.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.