Short jokes

Short jokes

Sister

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

Satan

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

Police Officer

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

Basketball

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

Cow

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.

It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.

Priest

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

Hooker

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

Sun

You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

People

Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.

Emo

What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?

They're both white and flavorless.

Baby

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"