Short jokes
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
Champagne
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
I'm hungry.
I am mis-steak.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.