Short jokes
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.