Short jokes
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
What is Michael Jackson’s favorite song? “Little Drummer Boy.”
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.