Short jokes
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Must have been a woman pilot.
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
What is the definition of Hell, a city in the state of Michigan?
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.