Short jokes
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.