Short jokes

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

What's the difference between women and men?

Men have rights.

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.

What do strippers and butter have in common?

Both spread for bread.

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?

Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house looks like.

What did the cow say to the leather chair?

“Hi Mom!”

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."