Short jokes
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.