Short jokes
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Why did the cop show up early to the protest? To beat the crowd.
When the priest said, "Be gone from this boy, demon!" the demon replied, "And you get out of the boy!"
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
Only a true MHA fan would understand.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.