Short jokes
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.