Short jokes
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.
Because I am an orphan.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
What is money called on the moon?
Mooney.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Here comes the airplane.
9/11 happens the next day.