Short jokes
Yo mama so fat, COW!
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
I'll break your bones, b*tch.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
What does a clock do when he's still hungry? He goes back "four" seconds!
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
I had power.