Short jokes
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
My uncle got sued from NASA the other day. He claimed to be the first one to enter Uranus.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🤡
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
I like penguins.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.