Short jokes
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Ethan Rice
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
Dolly (DYM 79).
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
"Mitchnite burger."
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
I would say fly high to Kobe, but obviously he didn't...