Short jokes
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.