Short jokes
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.