Short jokes
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Key.
Key who?
Key moo.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
you.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
To All The Naruto Fans:
Sharingan is red, Rasengans are blue, If you dare touch my daughter, I'll Chidori you!