Short jokes
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Happy new year! 🥳
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.