Short jokes
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
We don't read backwards.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.