Short jokes
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"