Short jokes
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.