Short jokes
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."