Short jokes
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.