Short jokes
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.