Short jokes
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Earth is full. Go home!
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday