Short jokes
I have breakfast with my boys.
What's your mum's favourite food?
Chicken nuggets! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
What's a rapper's favorite insect?
Rhy-mosquito.
For 9/11, I decided to bomb my twins.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.