Short jokes
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
Megamind.
Here’s my pun.
Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.
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What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
What's long, hard, and bloody?
The Boston Marathon.
I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.
Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.