Short jokes
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
Happy new year! 🥳
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
We don't read backwards.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.