Short jokes
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Orphan: Favorite song?
My name:
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What's the difference between a drill and a priest?
Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.