Short jokes
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
What's the opposite of Jason?
Jasister.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Why do emos love jumping in water?
Because it involves a rope.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
What do you call a gay baseball player? A homo-run-sexual.
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.