Short jokes
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.