Short jokes

Emos are dark people....

...So why are they all white?

Goths are even darker...

SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.

Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.

So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

What do you call a mouse with sneakers?

Squeakers!

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

What's a priest's favorite toy?

A mute little boy.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.

I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."

Are you George Floyd?

'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!