Short jokes
We don't read backwards.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.