Short jokes
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
Why did Sally stay in school?
Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!