Short jokes
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
"Stop bullying me!"
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
Your hairline is so bad that the Teen Titans gave up.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
"Morbius" is a bad movie (jokey).
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.