Short jokes
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
Guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "You look run down." The guy says, "No, I've come on my bike!"
Ice cream is just like I scream.
Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama!
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.