Short jokes

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest.

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."

"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"

"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!

So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.

Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.

What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?

Removing a bomb.

What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?

I guess orange is the new black.

Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.

It says, "271032."

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

Stephen Hawking:

Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?

A:) Tesla

When did I realize COVID was serious?

When I saw your teeth social distancing.

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.

Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!

What's a rapist's favorite scale?

C Minor.