Short jokes
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
What do cows call money?
Moola.
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!