Short jokes
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.