Short jokes
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
If Asriel were Sans, would his theme be "Jokes and Memes"?
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
What is the point of buttchins?
To catch flies.
Freddy, Bonnie, Cheka, Foxy, and Balloon Boy FNAF.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.