Short jokes
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Taja?
Cheesiest jokes.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
You should always be happy about family and love.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.