Short jokes
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Oh he.
Uuhgggyuuuhhhgg.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
I took a sip of water.
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
"Knife to meet you all!"
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"