Short jokes
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Goats are so lazy these days. Computers have more RAM.
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
Men.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
You're a fat poop poop!
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]