Short jokes
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
Don’t cut yourself up about it.
I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Where do Sith get their clothes?
At the Darth Maul!
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
What's big and black?
My balls.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!