Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
your daddy must be a drug dealer because your dope
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands? They can both do dirty things
why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
yo mama so stupid she threw a mothers day party at a orphanage
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon)-Don't go bacon my heart (Egg)-I couldn't if I fried
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys
Everything dissapers in the Bermuda triangle Except my depression
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks "so you don't miss fried chicken."
