Short jokes
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."