Short jokes

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

I wish my name was Voyager 2...

So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.

What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

I'm back on BIGO Live.