Short jokes
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
I am a volcano.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.