Short jokes
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
Flippity floppity, women are property.