Short jokes
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.