Short jokes

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

That joke didn't land well, did it?

Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.

Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.

I donated a computer to the orphanage...

It didn’t have a motherboard.

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

I'm back on BIGO Live.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.