Short jokes
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.