Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Short Jokes
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
