Short jokes
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
I got udder jokes too.