Short jokes
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Only in Ohio.
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.