Short jokes
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."
Hail Satan.
............
Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.