Short jokes
Velcro is such a rip-off.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Q: What is the best Disney character?
A: Toe Mater.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
Me.
The joke is me.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
What is the point of buttchins?
To catch flies.
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.