Short jokes
What games do bats like to play at recess?
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.
Your mom is gay, just like your dad.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?