Short jokes
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
I once got raped. I was asking for it though.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.