Short jokes
Happy new year! 🥳
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.