Short jokes
Cleveland Browns
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.