Short jokes
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.