Short jokes
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.