Short jokes

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?

A Disap point ment.

What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"

What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?

"Coincidence on 34th Street."

Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.

What do you call a magic owl?

HOOdini

What do you call a ghost bee?

Boobees.

Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?

Snowhere.

How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?

They get jalapeño business.

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?

What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?

They are both twisted.

Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"

What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?

The Jackson 4.

What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?

Michael Jackson's lipstick.