RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
Short Jokes
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
