Short jokes
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Only in Ohio.
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest