Short jokes

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.

Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

I wish my name was Voyager 2...

So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)

I'm back on BIGO Live.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.