Short jokes
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."