Short jokes
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Why are feminist rape claims never taken seriously? Nobody wants to rape fat, hairy gorillas.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"