Short jokes
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Heyyyy sistas!
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.
Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.