Short jokes
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
I once got raped. I was asking for it though.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.