Short jokes
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Want to hear something thatāll make you smile? Your face muscles.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.