Short jokes
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
I got udder jokes too.
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"