Short jokes
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
I think one of my dads might be gay.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.