Short jokes
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
UU looks like boobies, hehe.
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Trump, must I say more?
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.