Short jokes
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
What do you call a bacon from Chernobyl?
Technoblade!
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What if your Corona test is neutral?
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.