Short jokes
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.