Short jokes
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
Mooning is very astrological!
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.