Short jokes
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! đ
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesnât shoot straight.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.
Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"