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Talking Dishwasher

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Wife650
Phone381

Explanation

Explain Bear

Listen up, you knucklehead. The joke is that the husband is implying his wife is only good for doing housework and making sandwiches, just like a dishwasher. You probably think dishwashers are sentient, huh?

Comments (940)

How was your day I didn't really ask that

Hopefully tomorrow will be better cuz we get to go to the park together

V needs to talk to her dad first and my dad needs to be ok with it

Chxl.is.mine

I want to hug from you

Yeah well u didnt say you loved me fore u left

Shoot I'm sorry I'll do I'll do it next time I promise I got sidetracked

No highschool wasnt even out yet

By the time we we got there yeah they were

Pigs orgasims can last up to 20 mins

That video make me lose my apatite for a week

Exactly in a better stay that way you better eat

Come on please you don't have to eat fruit

there is no way in hell im eating tmrw

Well then I'm not I'm not going to I'm not going to I don't know

The crackers are so good so cheesy so crunchy so yummy

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

lemme ask jas if i say yes or not

Chxl.is.mine

Il give you another hoodie

^

Why did u gimmie ur pswrd?

Because you are my gf and I have nothing to hide

Everyone ive been w/ before had smthin to hide

My dad said im eating to much

Cause i had some fruit nd chips even though I said I didn't eat lunch..

A house was on fire close to where I live..

nd my dad said im eating to much..

Wow chips and fruit that's so much food

hes the main reason i dont eat

i waer these shorts under like everything cause they tight

I don't care what anybody says You're perfect

To me you are I don't give a s*** when anybody else says

I love you more than anything in this world that I can think of

I let em control me hlf the time

Don't let him control you they're not worth it

stay here gtg get firewood

I will I have to go to my house real quick so I'll be I'll come back when I can

my dad said i should go on a hunger streak so i can eat at thanksgiveing

It hurts to now drink water

like if i do its for a fucking hoodie

I'm going to give it to you no matter what so

But I don't want you to starve yourself

So like yk you said u like yogo pants?

I'm not forcing you to wear anything you don't want to so please don't

Cause it goes right on ur waist so its tighter

but if it slides down it hurts

Cause for some odd reason when i eat I sit a certain way nd they slide down onto my stomach so it hurts

Nd i wear em under clothes cause they aitn fucking seeable

The onyl pair of leggings i got are v-rahs

I think ia listen to my dad

Love I'm not going to let you go without eating f****** food for three f****** days I will bring you food to school so you can f****** eat it You're not going on a f****** starve trail

I love you too much to let you not eat food

What if u bring it but i don't eat it

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

You can also cry on command?

I meant to say if I think about my childhood trauma I can cry

If you want me to eat just do what you did before

I am Tomorrow and I'm going to hold your hand

Have u ever js got a random mood

Like where u wanna make out w/ sum1?

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

That yeah every time I get a mood it's always about you cuz when I'm around you

Pin me to a wall nd make out with me I dare u

I can pin u to take the lead luv

Ima lose all this confadence irl btw

I love you to the moon to the Milky Way

I love you all the way to infinity and beyond

I love you till we both die and then we meet the Milky Way and the man on the Moon

im mad at the man on the moon.

Cause he tried getting me to choose between you and him

You wont and i wont leave you

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

Ill be your first and last kiss, if you leave me ill murder you.

If you ever say "till death do us part" well, if I feel it fadeing and know it'll end soon then ill end you

Ydk how mental i am do ya?

Comment deleted by Anonymous

I like being called alota things

One thing makes my heart race

Ok that makes my heart happy

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

I don't know what song that text to speech messed up on so I just replaced it with what I said already

Comment deleted by Anonymous
Chxl.is.mine

Come on baby girl

This one

Comment deleted by Anonymous
Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine
Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

*grabs your legs and oulls you down next to me* hehehehe

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine
Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

*sits on your lap faceing you hugging you*

That's why I don't like going in those chats

Idk if i like u or music mroe

I'mma go for a little bit I'm going to go hang out with my uncle and Mom

i gtg sweep afk for a few mins stay hea

What color hair should she hav?

I am too I'm terrible at it just look at the drawing I did in fifth hour

Not everything in this world is going to look as good as you

FUCK THIS SHE OONA HAVE PAPER WHITE SKIN

this drawing is lucky it aint on paper

I'm going to use the bathroom I'll be back soon

when im done wanna see the disapointment I'm making?

Ain't no disappointment like me but yeah I'll see it

NO ONE THAT MAKES ME SMILE THIS MUCH AND MES ME HAPPIER THAN COUNTRY MUSIC IS A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT

Okay I'm sorry I won't say that no more

Ima smash my chreombook to pices

No don't because then you can't talk to me baby

I love you when you're happy also cuz you're cute

Me too unless it's my favorite animals

but i hate the ones that dresss tf up

I know they're so annoying and I think they're so important

I think its cute to act like one some times but not full on

like i had afreind who loved to get petted and she was so sweet

Yeah if they're friendly like there's no problem with them but they're they're trying to be like on top of the world then they need to kill themselves

I hate when they make it there entire personailty

Ima go into my living room cause fire

When you're happy I'm happy and when I'm happy you're Happy

U got me listing to this kinda country

I'm listening to country songs on my soundbar

Cuz you got me in a happy mood right now

If u like country ur a walking green falg

You need to get your dad to talk to Veronica's dad about us going to the park tomorrow

Im not allowed to hang out w/ veronica

CAUSE MY DADS A PETTY BITCH

Dude I freaking hurt my hand earlier and it hurt

Scratched by a pencil and it left a massive mark and skin peel out my hand I didn't mean to I accidentally I was trying to pull my binder back in my backpack and my pencil lead was still out cuz I normally push it back in so it doesn't do that and I forgot to do it that time and it scratched my hand the hell out of

thats how the start of carveing smthin into ur skin feels

I know I don't mean to do it I didn't mean to obviously

You better not be cutting carving or harming yourself cuz if I find out I don't know but just please don't do it

Thoughts of harm dont cross my mind

Red velvet cupcake hair <3

u should go to my house sometimes

I'd like to meet your brother that looks like a f****** girl and your dad so you get to know him so he'll trust me

My dad needa meet u fore he knows we are tg

Yeah he seems like a pretty cool guy kid whatever

he will try to eat ur hair =D

one time colton alexander went to my house and my brother roman fucking chewed on coltons hair

my brother gets his weirdness from me

What made your mind go "wrtrsthtbr I love this fucker ((: "

how i gave u admiring eyes

I don't know but you just God you just make my mind race when I'm in class I just can't stop thinking about you

I get it on the bus nd t home and while music and just art

Yeah its why i get scardd to lose it

im not scared to lose it for you

It's just funny how Veronica and Skyler don't even talk like we do

They're talking about like weird s*** and we're just over here all lovey dovey and s*** but it's amazing

i asked that then did blue cause ik its whatd ud say

i asked that then did blue cause ik its whatd ud say

No arms for cupcake hair )):

Hey baby Veronica wants to know if we can all zoom but it's up to you

I got more followerd than u >:)

omg wanna see what gus put in our doc?

My dads gf keeps seein me smile but I'm a netual face

IM TIRED BUT U MAKE ME AWAKEEEEE

NOW IM SMILEING ND BLUSHIN

LEMME GO BAK TO KITCHEN TO HIDEE

I would do smthin like that

excpet im the kind if running to jump up on em

Imagine me kissing you right on the head

Sky said hes gunna go n get u ):

V said u said u gonna go to him son):

Can I go to Skyler's but I'll still talk to you

Brb I'm going to go get some pizza rolls

U got me in gigglt happy mood

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I'm Santa what do you want for Christmas baby girl

Yeah but f****** do that I'm at the park

But you're going to have to sit on me so I can hold you

Comment deleted by Anonymous
Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

Said you could be my baby girl any anytime

theres like one thing i like beign called more than that silly

It's supposed to say what is it baby girl

Chxl.is.mine

You could be my good girl anytime

🥰

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine
Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine
Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

Go with V nd Sky we talk so they learn how to flirt

u can atlk to them if u want

Sorry just like they fucking my mood up..

Id like jonny to leave but id like you to stay

V-rah is gonna make me stab myself

Baby no you're not Don't say that I'm trying to help both you okay

I'm one person I take a little bit to help

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CANT FUCKING SAY HOW I FEEL

I need you to calm down now and talk to me

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I know you're stressed the f*** out right now but trust me

I'll be right back I had to go talk to Veronica so I can solve this

Comment deleted by Anonymous
Comment deleted by Anonymous

No come on please I'm sorry I didn't understand what you said

Im going to take a break for two songs

Sorry I had to take out Skyler's dogs for him

AND JAKE SENT EM TEH AUDIO CLIP

AND EM SENT ME THE AUDIO CLIP

ND I GOT FUCKING RICK ROLLED

How you got Rick rolls I love getting Rick rolled

I WAS ACTUALY MAD JAS SAID THAT CAUSE SHES BETREYED ME MANY TIMES

https://media2-production.mightynetworks.com/asset/05338937-4275-4fdf-bff3-0cbac7997976/Jassy2.mp3?_gl=1*1s0n8gx*_ga*NzQ4NTg4NTE1LjE2OTcwNjM5ODU.*_ga_T49FMYQ9FZ*MTcwMDUyNzA0Mi4xMTYuMS4xNzAwNTI3MDk1LjAuMC4w*_ga_NEGJ2SXNP7*MTcwMDUyNzA0Mi4xMTYuMS4xNzAwNTI3MDk1LjAuMC4w

Thats where jas wanted to suck u off

It's just a voice clip of f****** Rick roll and that's my truck and childhood song

I can't believe your friend wanted to give me f****** head that's disgusting

F****** good because that was disgusting for me to hear

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

Ima treat you like my homework, slam you on my desk and do you all night long <3

Anonymous

Ima treat you like my homework, slam you on my desk and do you all night long <3

It'll be the other way of f****** around

Chxl.is.mine

It'll be the other way of f****** around

grvhbjfvnwbgtrsdbkjvn ebjgfns

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

He tried to f****** He's trying to f****** he's trying to stick his dick in my ass

Are you my homework? Because I’m not doing you, but I definitely should be.

Comment deleted by Chxl.is.mine

I get a motorboat your f****** titties till they f****** explode

STOP FOR A SEC U JUST MADE ME LOSE THOUGHT PROCESS I WAS TRYNA OWN THIS

Comment deleted by Anonymous

let’s play carpenter...first we’ll get hammered, then ill nail you

TRYTA BECOME DOM SO I CAN OUTDOM U >:)

Would you do if I started jacking off right now

Tell u that ur loseing nnn

That is true though but I am not jacking off right now cuz I am at Skyler's in Israel

But maybe you should come to my room so I could do it for u ;)

You won't because you'll be in f****** a very interesting position

Tie me up nd break my back out fr

ARE YOU THE LOTTERY? CAUSE IM DELUSIONAL AND THINK I CAN WIN YOU

WELL WE SHOULD TRY IT TOGETHER SOMETIME THEN

I wanna make u fail NNN >:)

YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN MY MIND I SHOULD CHARGE YOU RENT

Let me just say baby girl that you're getting f****** close

I THINK YOU OWE ME A DRINK CAUSE WHEN I SAW YOU I DROPPED MINE

I'D TAKE YOU TO THE MOVIES BUT THEY DON'T ALLOW SNACKS

And id def be snakin on u for a long while ;)

ARE YOU MY LAPTOP? CAUSE YOU'RE SO HOT YOU'RE BURNING MY LAP

CAUSE I WANT CHU TO TURN ME ON

YOUR BODY IS 75% WATER AND IM THIRSTY

Baby girl chill out I'm turned on to f***

CAUSE I COULD RIDE U FOR HOURS

WOULD U LIKE TO BE ONE OF THEM?

Your outflit would look sm better on my bedroom floor

If you are here right now we be in the bathroom doing some devious devious things

*pins you to wall* Your lips are like skittles and I'm boutta taste the rainbow

We've been dating for 2 days and we're already talking about f******

Cause i wanna go up nd down on u

Chxl.is.mine

We've been dating for 2 days and we're already talking about f******

im not this confadent irl

Like i say shit online that id rather shoot myself then do irl idk I got problems

With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.

Y'KNOW WHAT'S ON THE MENU TONIGHT? ME-N-U

Yeah you're the one for me I are can tell by these f****** turn on jokes

Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six. I’ll be the nine.

YOU HAVE A GREAT SMILE, BUT IT'D BE EVEN BETTER IF THAT WAS ALL YOU WERE WEARING

when your feeling down i can feel you up

Go to Veronica's last post Skyler said I'm going to real quick

It's the f****** guy that was f****** cursing out like hell

Well im pretty sure there a mirror in ur pants

cause i can see myself in them

I find your lack of nudity disturbing. ):

I'm sorry I'm not good at what you're good at

I have 206 bones in my body. Want to give me another one?

I think guys are ment to say that

I may not go down in history, but I will go down on you.

My internet gets cut off soon

Charlie just not I f****** love you so much I'm sorry I'm f****** stressed out right now I'm I love you

Your clothes look so uncomfortable

Why don’t you let me help you take them off

No your clothes look so uncomfortable let me take them off

do it for me then do me ;)

I wanna drag u into my bedroom so we can play simon says

*pins you to wall* Goot room for another tounge in ur mouth

even thouhgt i gtg in 3 mins