Short jokes
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.