Short jokes
Magitat?
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
"Mhm... So you're gay?" -Darling
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."