Short jokes
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
I believe in a woman's right to choose...
...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"