Short jokes
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
I like turtles.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!