Short jokes
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.