Short jokes
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
I like turtles.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.