What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
Short Jokes
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
I'm bald.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
