Short jokes
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Get confused with Confucius!
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...
Ta kill her.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.
I thought Gastown was in Vancouver, not in Wilkie, Saskatchewan.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!