Short jokes
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).