Short jokes
What does CNN stand for? The Counterfeit News Network.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
Keep yourself safe!
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?
Because he is the only one.
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Imagine being emo.
Couldn't be me.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."