Short jokes
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.