Short jokes
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
Beans
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
Boner.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.