Short jokes

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

No.

Then how did you put your foot in it?

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Where do sick boats go? The dock!

Boner.

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.

Why did the tiger lose at poker?

Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?

cocks of African-American men

What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.

I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!

His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.

"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."

Hail Satan.

............

Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.

Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.