Short jokes
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Fishermen are the best at networking.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.